Bodice Ripping
The last thing I heard her whisper was "something wicked this way comes..."
And then that was it, she was gone. And then, nearly before I'd finished processing what it was she said to me, she was back. With my burger and fries.
"What?"
"What? Here's your burger, sir. Can I help you with anything else today?"
"Umm. I could have... did you say to me 'something wicked this way comes'?"
The blank stare is perhaps most effective when served from underneath a hat that resembles a boat, only it's made out of paper, which is a wholly unsuitable material for a boat to be made out of. Especially as the top portion of paper is a particularly flimsy version of paper. She stared blankly back at me. A brilliant example of one, if I do say so.
"Because, you know, I could have sworn you did."
"I did," she said. It was as if the heavens had moved, that utterance coming from her lips. As I've said, it was an impressive blank stare. Which she resumed, just after speaking. It was a blank stare that, had it been a couple thousand years earlier, would have at least some small claim to stake to the creation of the Sphinx's stony visage.
Since I was neither French, nor in possession of a rifle, I did the only other thing you can do in the presence of such an impressive impassivity: I turned around, walked to a seat, and ate my burger and chips.
It was only later, grease ball failing to be affected in the least by the digestive juices in my stomach that I realized what it was she was talking about when she said "something wicked this way comes."
disclaimer:
I just noticed that we've had 500 horoscopes written here at Sane Magazine this week. What the hell have we been doing with our time?
Possibly the wrong sorts of things. The wrong sorts of things we were warned about when we were kids. Of course, no one would ever come out and explicitly say, "Don't waste your time divining information from the stars for a very, very small portion of the population, and then take that information and attempt to make it funny and fresh each week, because there's going to be a good chance you'll fail 87.6% of the time. Luckily, it will, as we mentioned, be only a small portion of the world's population who find this, so your reputation will be intact with the remainder of the world." Because if they did you'd have to worry about them. And what they were doing, hanging around a school. And why were they holding that chinchilla like that, anyway, and why was it wearing sunglasses?
I suppose we could argue that how were we to know, without a more explicit warning. But we would argue something, anyway, just because we're in a particularly argumentative mood these days. Must be the fluoride in the water.
Oh, and Jon sends his love.
Peace out.
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