Widsith the Wide-Traveled
He came from over the hills.
People assumed he came from afar from over the hills, because he was telling everyone his name was "Widsith, Widsith the wide-traveled."
One of the snarky teenagers, and there are always multiple in a crowd, even if you can't see their spotty little faces, chirped, "Wide-bottomed, more like it."
Now, that didn't entirely make sense. It did, sort of. Widsith had an ample bottom, but by no means was it shockingly large. It was just the sort of thing a snarky teen might say, even more likely to say if he was hidden in and amongst the crowd, where no one is about to call him out about it, because people were able to snicker and make other comments disparaging the actual distance they thought the traveler might have come.
Widsith tugged his tunic down at the back self consciously, and he doffed his hat with his other hand. He came to a Hollywood rolling stop in the middle of the gathering crowd. If he were an injured cow and the members of the crowd piranha he mightn't like the situation he was in. As it was, though, he figured it gave him a chance to tell his story, get the news out, and bask in the glow of a fresh audience, snarky kids aside.
"People!" he said. "I bring you great tidings of joy!"
"Wide-joy, more like it," the snarky kid tried again. This time the crowd around him parted a little bit in a group askew glance in his direction, and people could catch the slightest glimpse of the bony white flash of an arm as he dove further into the crowd and, most likely, off to home.
"I bring to your fine land, from over the hills, affordable health insurance!"
And with a giant hush like a deflating balloon, the crowd dispersed. They weren't interested in affordable health care. They wanted news of the race of ninja midgets they suspected lived over the hills.
disclaimer:
So that is also that.
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