The Horoscopes
Unreliable at best.
Taurus April 20 - May 20
Do a turn for someone else this time.
A good turn, that is.
And no taking turns if you're playing Candyland ™ or anything.
Leo July 23 - August 22
You will go back to your peaceful nature of a couple weeks ago.
Your experiments with changing your nature have succeeded, and everyone around you would like to see the old peaceful one again.
Also, have someone check your diaper (Warning: may not apply if you're not wearing diapers).
PS. Happy Birthday, Dad.
Virgo August 23 - September 22
Someone is going to offer you more work this week.
You can either take it on, or go read a book.
Or just never look up from your book so no one ever feels comfortable enough to talk to you and offer you more work.
Gemini May 21 - June 20
There will be a whole lot of talking behind people's backs this week, no matter how much you turn.
That'll only make it worse, and you dizzy.
Capricorn December 22 - January 19
Take the time to know your neighbours this week.
People like that sort of thing.
Maybe write it down or something, though, because you won't want to forget all the stuff you learn this week for subsequent weeks.
Cancer June 21 - July 22
Some little thing or another will hold your attention this week.
Be sure to get plenty of sleep and water... it's almost like you're running a marathon or something.
Pisces February 19 - March 20
Make up a new set of rules for someone else to play along by.
It's up to your discretion whether or not you tell them about the new rules.
Aries March 21 - April 19
A foray into the unfamiliar may cause undue humiliation.
You are up to the challenge. Unless you aren't.
Libra September 23 - October 22
The week shall be one of great Fire and Brimstone on the third stage of the Great Becoming.
So sayeth Nostradmus about this week for you a long time ago.
Scorpio October 23 - November 21
You don't have a horoscope, man. I'm really, really sorry about that one fateful bus trip oh so long ago.
Sagittarius November 22 - December 21
Wherever you may have doubt, be sure to ask.
Just be sure to ask different people, because you can only ask so many questions of one person before they get annoyed.
Aquarius January 20 - February 18
Do not upset the balance of nature.
Also, take out the trash on Tuesday morning on your way out the door.
[Horoscopes. AIM Fight! Err... I have no idea what this means.]